flight unbeknownst

y p p a h

2009-10-11T10:08:00.001+08:00

Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. A variety of philosophical, religious, psychological and biological approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources.

i felt happy yesterday. =))))) thank u allen mh fc.

oh oh!

2009-10-04T18:08:00.002+08:00

i dont blog often now because imma soooo dayem busy these days! :D

anyway, owl city is a great band! (actually only one dude, so whatever)

words fail to describe the sheer awesomeness of it!

you.... gotta check it out!

some great songs include Fireflies, Vanilla Twilight and Crystal Veins.

hello

2009-08-02T19:23:00.001+08:00

if i dont exercise my brain for a day, i feel empty and bored, like a day has been wasted.

i shall waste no days from today onwards, this is my resolution.

unconditional, routinely.

i will remember to blow the candles myself before i go to bed.

毕竟现实没这么完美.

if i were to be able to clone myself and look at myself, i would not be looking at a sad person.
not a happy person also.
definitely not a stupid or awesome person.
i am here because i am myself, i have things to accomplish, goals to achieve, and i live to serve all that is deserving of efforts.

lol, such awe-inspiring speech.

awful awful. benjamin, now lets go have some dinner.

upcoming...

2009-07-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

decided to finish the book today, and hence the last page, page 831, was completed at about 4pm.

deathly hallows summarizes book 1 to 6, with a grand ending of its own, along with it comes a great twist(wouldnt say to spoil it)

my thermometer reads 37.8 but im feeling very normal, for sure the thermometer isnt malfunctioning. so its like quite weird can... ???

admittedly

2009-07-21T21:57:00.001+08:00

a picture may say a thousand words, but a song, a good one, may release countless emotions and desires into you the speed of information, which has been proven by science to far exceed the speed of light, the speed of sight.

be still, bouncing and raging heart

2009-07-21T12:12:00.003+08:00

still reading... progressively slow.. decent pace..

not the best book ever, but shld be the best in the harry potter series...

yupyupyup!

reading gives knowledge, knowledge is good for you, because you somehow get smarter, better to be smarter den stupid-er... *innocent laugh*...turns to.....* evil stone face * yeah. life is sometimes harsh.

today is happy, i go eat laksa now. laksa is good food, good food makes you feel good. feel good, nananananana feel good....

listening to: Max Farenthide - Number One

lol hp

2009-07-18T10:56:00.002+08:00

after catching the latest harry potter show i have thus embarked on a reading journey again.

borrowed the last book of the series..here we go again

finished the first few chapters, nice sia. or should i say, mildly enthralling!

all's fair..

2009-07-08T17:16:00.004+08:00

tamade hao ting this song.
..

you know its a good song when your head n chest feels warm and you feel lost when you listen to it.

the story behind the singer is tragic too.

最后一次

在我最后一次闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使劲全力不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇不能再陪你
但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

先走了去了好远的地方
不能再陪你看日出
等不到天亮
所有回忆没去却并不容易
生死由天决定不要太伤心

在我最后一次闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使劲全力不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇不能再陪你
但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
我永远爱你

the 2 moving metal balls of newton's cradle are like euphoria and melancholy.whats between is yourself.like steel-cold and shiny.

今天是星期六, 情绪-random, 脑海-one sheet blank white

2009-07-04T10:51:00.003+08:00

facebook quizzes can be entertaining sometimes.

The Week of the Teacher: Taurus 2 May 3-10.

You have a message to share and are often involved in the development of ideas and techniques. You love to lead by example, generate discussion and talk about your ideas and observations. You are a mover and shaker and are capable of influencing others. You tend to side with the underdog and feel all forms of discrimination and unfairness keenly. You tend to have a strong and unyielding moral stance. You are known as a free thinker. You erupt in anger often and can be demanding and critical. You have a love of beauty and a charming magnetic personality which often leaves you with lots of admirers, however you do not like a great deal of attention or to be fussed over, you’d rather be left alone. In intimate situations you can be extremely passionate, and prefer romance to sentimentality but like a realistic and frank approach to love and sex. You like your partners to be strong and dignified. Strengths: Enterprising – Fair – Magnetic Weaknesses: Demanding – Critical – Inflexible .

on top of that,

i was a romantic poet in my past life --> hahaha! what the hell...

"You know how you're kind of...you know...sensitive? There's a good reason for that. Long, long ago, you were a romantic poet - the kind that made all the ladies swoon with your sexy sonnets. Even if you're not much of a poet now, you've still got a lot of creativity brewing in your soul. And you've got a strong ability to notice details and understand other people's emotions. If you ever have writer's block or just need some creative inspiration, try to harness some of that poet power in your soul's past."

my mental age is 43

"Regardless of how old your body is, up in your head, you're paying mortgages and complaining about back pain. That's great that you're so mature, but remember: it's okay to cut loose and act young every once in a while. Do your wild side a favor and stay up past 10:00 one night this week."

my best trait is compassion --> maybe

"You don't judge others' faults but rather have compassion on them and what they are going through. Your first instinct when you see someone in need is to comfort them and show them how much you care. You are gracious, and love flows out of you naturally. Even in situations where most people would back away, you are right there for people with your arms wide open. You feel empathy for those who suffer, and this might be because of your kind nature or maybe even because you can relate; whatever the reason, you help heal wounds and are a shoulder to cry on.."

i have type c memory-accountant memory

"Accountant Memory means that you're someone who tends to remember the minor details, but not the bigger picture. People of this type of memory are usually neat, and have high expectations. You are a good observer, it wouldn't be wrong if I use the phrase "nothing can seem to escape your eyes" on you. If you're planning on a event with a team, you must know that you're what I call the "backbone" of the team. It'll be so wrong of them to belittle of you. You are the one who keep track of the details - a job which not anybody is capable of. You're also the one who remind them about the deadlines, and stuff like that. This might be called "minor", but just how minor could they be? Without these minor things going, would your team even go further?"

i like classy girls --> not true...

"You like a girl that is perfect. She loves to be in committed relationship and you like that too. She doesn't just "I love you" just to say it and she understands the value of a promise. She's classy, but not to reserved, and knows how to make you feel good, in EVERY way."

forward god-speed.

2009-07-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

addicted to this song , Newton - Streamline, not everyone will like it though it has a wicked beat!

Cao Ge's new album is nice, get your ears busy if you count yourself laidback in catching up with the latest chinese music!

quote of the day: Are you not ashamed to reserve for youself only the remnant of life, and to set apart for wisdom only that time which cannot be devoted to any business.

got the quote from some random book, takes 2 reads to understand it.

definitely mind-blasting quote.

grocery

2009-06-29T17:03:00.006+08:00

running out of stuffs so went to buy

1.silk pro shampoo
2.nivea facial foam
3.honey milk showering foam
4.chocolate biscuit sticks
5.yoghurt
6.myojo lor mee ---> fucking nice must try if u never try b4
7.my lunch ---> laksa + extra hum.
8.ice cream
9.orange juice

camp at home! today not going out, which is rare of me.

if i dont type this now, i probably wont type this tomorrow, because by tomorrow when i wake up, i would have lost track of these wonderful thoughts. inspirations dont stay for long, they hover about and leave soon shortly afterwards when you let go of your thought strings.
i am definitely not your average man/boy/young man. i engage in intellectual stuffs of every kind imaginable hideously way beyond others. attempting to type a list of these would be crazy, so i wouldnt do that. my genre of music, a spectrum so huge and dense; an indication of my passion for everything emotionally engaging, from the heavenly highs to the abyssmally lows. anything that requires mental power to divulge and challenge, i will have particular interest for it. thats just me, and forever will be me. you only have one life, so we should learn as much as we can.

in spite of all these, i still maintain a healthy balance between reality and non-reality; able to engage in a healthy communication and ties with people everyday and everywhere, and im proud of this, as it puts me in a advantageous position.

i have my flaws. certainly. long list as well.

but fuck, really very sian, sometimes i dont know what i want, could it be that i want too many things? its time to narrow down to priorities, benjamin?

what am i?

-[life is a journey, so everyone lets be christopher columbus-es, venturing and treasure-hunting to our hearts' contents while not forgetting and maintaining the never-changing basics.]-

H1N1 says hi

2009-06-28T21:55:00.004+08:00

be happy or not, manning changes like weather in fds.

now its quite weird. i dont see the change resulting in better H1N1 prevention, just maybe for covering uhm* -*cough*-s sup-*cough*-erior* a-*cough*-sses.

i think preventing H1N1 is lame.

if you wont kena, you wont kena, if you will kena, den so be it.
prevention is cure is not a suitable phrase for a situation like this.
singapore is so small, small until my uncle's nephew know your sister's wife. everyone know everyone. one kena, means alot of ppl will kena. but isit their fault? no. fuck cb no. so dont waste your time man.

yes, prevention on a small scale is totally justified and reasonable, but not to a stage whereby you have to change things so drastically that it affects everyone more than the H1N1 itself. That is so WU DI LAME. DRAW SNAKE ADD LEGS.

that is something stupid people can do, and make themselves more stupid.
i would like you to correct me, oh that is if you can.

this month will be like rolling thunder for me, but then, im the ace of spades.

just fucking bring it on.

problems are but happy endings unsolved.

没有吃过苦瓜, - 永远都不会了解草莓雪糕在相比之下是多么的冰凉甜美可口.

NEW DIVIDE

2009-06-25T14:18:00.004+08:00

Linkin Park - New Divide

This SONG IS FUCKING TAM!!! SIBEI SHIOK sia. HAHA. listen liao i can imagine myself to be Optimus Prime.

Sorry i cant help it, the little boy in me comes out when i see transformers.

Transformers damn high sia.

Without further ado, here are the fucking lyrics!!!

I remembered black skies
The lightning all around me
I remembered each flash
As time began to blur
Like a startling sign
That fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide

There was nothing in sight
But memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide
The ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in
Between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Across this new divide

In every loss
In every lie
In every truth that you'd deny
And each regret
And each goodbye
Was a mistake to great to hide
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide
Across this new divide
Across this new divide

everyday.

2009-06-22T01:01:00.004+08:00

You hover your wallet above the lifeless and hard cuboids.
They flash a bright green colour and their red mandibles part sideways.
You walk through, with an empty mind and a body that has grown habitual to your never-changing lifestyle.
A huge machine sticks out from the ground and extends towards the platform.
You take a step on the moving metal bits that move gradually to the top, disappearing, and then re-appearing at the bottom again, a never ending cycle, much like the daily routine you are going through.
You finally reach the top. Half a minute has passed although you haven't realised it. You could be rushing for time.
A rectangular panel hanging down from the internal roof suggests the impending arrival of a gigantic beast.
It solemnly reads 2 minutes.
In what seemed like an eternity, a loud booming voice echoes from your left, accompanied by a intermittent sound of metal grinding against metal.
The orange eyes of the steel behemoth grew larger and larger as it stampeded through the stale air, every passing second closer and closer to you.
Red and white stripes run down its entire length of its metallic serpentine body.
It screeches to a halt, a cacophony of hissing and grinding sounds blending in with the voices around you.
Steel plates that run alongside the gargantuan part sideways, much like the red mandibles of the cuboids.
As you tread into one of the square orifices, the first thing you feel is the cold air rushing out from the inner space of the behemoth, albeit a welcome feeling.
You take a step into the adequately lit and crowded area and take a look around you.
People, everywhere. Imprisoned in this huge metallic serpent to be deposited at various locations for different purposes, just like you.

I am taking the MRT after all.

[-Remember, emeralds need not shine, and devils certainly need no love. And itll not last.-]

!!

2009-06-21T03:28:00.002+08:00

the 2 escalators at orchard central are so damn long. takes like two minutes to go up!! vertigo vertigo.

i respect the distance between us, i stand and wait in patience until something picks me up again. i still do, i still do. i can do nothing though. for now, our worlds will not intertwine and intersect. it may happen again, or it will not.

fish.water.sand.waves.wind.air.fire.fuel.

into the future

2009-06-16T10:21:00.003+08:00

[It is the year 2048. The world and society has transformed dramatically since more than 30 years ago. Cars no longer run on petrol and are airborne now, moving around in the air as though they were being controlled by an invisible magnet. The chromosomes/DNA codes for all living organisms have been thoroughly solved, making it possible to manipulate life and death. Earth had not fallen as prophesized in the year 2012, but continues to thrive despite the physical pollution and dwindling resources.]

[The scene starts off somewhere on the Island of Singapore.]

A man named Nimajneb walks into the Institute of General Health, Psychology Section. He appears to be calm on the outside but yet he has had a troubled life so far. Looks are deceiving. With slow but deliberate steps, he approaches the woman at the medical counter.

By now, you, who are reading this, should have realised Nimajneb is a weird name indeed and its just a mirror image of the name Benjamin. Nimajneb has been created to show the author's creative-ness and his awkward sarcasm, and of course, for entertainment's sake.

Benjamin : Hi there.

Woman/Nurse/Whatever : Hi, what can i do for you?

[short pause of approximately 5 seconds, then followed by a hesitated speech]

Benjamin : I hear you have services for memory deletion for people who wish to forget their past. Is this true?

She-who-shall-be-called-as-Nurse: Yes, that is right sir. But it is an exceedingly complicated and much-debated-about process. We will need your total consent for us to consider whether you are a legitimate person for this process.

Benjamin : Yes, i have all my particulars here, what else do you need?

[Nurse takes about 5 minutes to browse through the mess of papers...]

Nurse : That is all that is needed sir. There are 2 options:

Preferential deletion : Forget what you want to forget.
Total deletion : Forget everything.

What would you like sir?

Benjamin : Yes, i do realise that. Let me consider for awhile. I will return shortly.

[The scene ends with a man named Benjamin looking dejected, sitting down on a seat, head looking at the floor, pondering... thinking...considering...contemplating...]

[the story continues...]

the unseen juggernaut, more often than not

2009-06-07T13:29:00.002+08:00

feeling 1: lying down in the best position ever on a white sandy beach with beautiful coconut trees that sway seductively in the wind, enjoying the picturesque sunset and the utopian landscape that will never end, eating a million tubs of multiple flavoured ice-cream with unlimited supply of toppings of any kind you can imagine and getting a massage. at your side is a carton of alcohol of any kind you could ever find in your life, if not more. on top of that, the entire haven is also a babe galore. nuff said.

feeling 2: trapped in this vile abyss, spiralling into bouts of nightmarish thoughts and brain raping, with hordes of grotesque denizens so nefarious, so revolting, so degenerate and comtemptible that they make satan look like gabriel the archangel.
every second passes slowly, with the pain and torture multiplied countless-fold.
you dont know even whether you are dead or alive. it could be both. your helplessness piled on your incapabilities is like rubbing sulphur onto raw wounds, the shame and the agony unbeknownst.

ok that was 2 very different descriptions.

for some particular reason, everyone wants feeling 1, obviously.

ive just conjured 2 paragraphs of the most opposite feelings, it may be exaggerated,
thanks to my imagination or if you would like to praise me, my intelligence. if not, nevermind then.

1: book in
2: book out

hahaha. *gasp*

anyway, back to reality, life is seriously quite sian as of now.
im going to delta . for fuck's sake. help my balls.
i hope i really get to come back a/c shift.

i am also starting to have thoughts of murdering particular people,*joking*
but i really really hate people from the mlm business now.
because mlm is epic fail and they still glamourise it.
what the fuck, damn stupid can.
its like... i would like to ask him. are you stupid or are you stupid?
oh wait you are both. hahaha. fucker.
waste my time only. ccb.
so what if xxx is my friend, your problem isit. fark off la.

SHAG.

2009-06-02T00:38:00.002+08:00

omg omg cycle cycle until sibei tired.

one of my tyres was deflated, so u can imagine how much effort it takes to cycle.

cycle all the way freaking far to oil station pump air. den afterwards realise the tyre itself already got hole. so also no use.

end up cycling 3 hr on a deflated tyre. tired until cycle halfway can sleep omgomg.

helluva evening

2009-05-24T03:56:00.003+08:00

its been awhile since we had so much fun!

...its like totally awesome.

yea. sing.chivas.heineken.food.fun.whatever.loseyourself

friends4life!.

nothing beats this. nothinggggg.

=)? =(? -_-...

2009-05-23T16:17:00.001+08:00

gaming and downloading songs all afternoon before i go out tonight to meet friends.

[-truest of words wouldnt barely suffice to describe an infinitesimally small fraction of-]

ugh.

2009-05-20T22:27:00.001+08:00

damned uncomfortable driver seat make my back ache like mad for at least 2 and a half hours. ah..

what a long post!

2009-05-11T12:23:00.006+08:00

did zone 1, west gate, zone 10, skyhawk.
kena eaten sia.. damn tired.
oh well, slept less den 8 hrs in 2 days but im still feeling okay.
am i too tired to feel tired, used to it, or just getting old?
either way, its not good okay.
average human needs 7-8 hrs of slp a day, goddamned it ahaha.

: (

my friend in fds, lim ser seng, or affectionally known as 'aunty', did a Tarot Card Reading for me for future prospects of love, life and work-related stuff.

Well, he has been always very accurate as of far, but it has been one year since he practiced his tarot stuff so from his actions you could roughly tell he was quite rusty, hahaha.

anyway, the predictions are not very different from the last time he gave me, so that must only mean i have not changed alot for a year or so.

lol of course, im in army, do you expect me to ----change---- into a any different person from what i already was? army is fucking sian de ok. except for SOME people la.

aunty told me ill meet my future partner/wife in a gathering or through the internet.
damnit so zhun, as im mostly using my computer or outside chionging with friends.
he says that i must gan gan pursue my love if i see any potential and also, there will be a barrier that i must cross, but i will succeed because i got the ability to.

lol i think this is true, i am quite perfectionist and always very particular of tiny things, i am more observant than anyone thinks and even though i will have good and creative ideas way beyond many people, i am afraid of failure.
i also have an excellent memory, so sometimes i might remember things that might surprise/amuse you. just don't take it to heart.
however, if i had made up my mind to do something, i can totally succeed with flying colours.

in short, i am lazy and not initiated irregardless of how much potential i have. its just that simple. my life is full of 'flowers' but i never pick only. you can play with so many flowers if you want but there is no point to it, so i dont do it.

its not that i dont want to have a love life now ok, i believe in patience and i am fully aware of the constraints at this age. why hurry, there are many years more to find someone you truly love.

if you truly love someone, you should respect them and give them the best life they can for the rest of their life. they will help you to become the best person you can become and in turn you will help them to become the best person they can become.
there is no point in rushing(you might think otherwise but trust me, NO), everything should be planned and deliberate. this is going to be my honest opinion opinion, i also dont believe in sex before marriage as i am quite the convervative kind of guy despite how pai kia and wild i sometimes is. my reason is simple, respect the lady you love, only do it when you plan for it and what comes after it. many people find 'love' only to fill up their emotional void and our needs. so superficial, so immature, so crappy.

but i am also not a prude obviously, anything other than sex is ok.

but love, as many people know, is blind and forgiving; a flawed person becomes perfect in your eyes, and there could be so much trouble but the two people in love wont even bother about it, thats the beauty, its like two people trapped in a utopian bubble, so so so happy and pretty much alot more oblivious to many things. just plain being in love can change many a people's mindset and attitude towards things, that includes being rash and foolish.

my mindset is strong, but i am flexible as well, so who knows what ill think tomorrow.

next, my life. aunty says my life and my job will be smooth sailing but there is a catch.

i will achieve everything i eventually want, but i will not be a truly happy person.

so the problems lies with me, i am a very cold and meticulous person and i dont get happy that easily because im too factual. i should probably change!

that means i will be more appealing and friendly if i learn to forget the little things in life and be less of a cynical robot.

ya lor, i cant disagree with that. its me.

for someone..im sorry.

2009-05-09T00:35:00.006+08:00

you might be reading this, or you might be not.

i dont know.

i didnt expect you to wish me happy birthday on msn, so dont be surprised when i dont know what to say, because i did not think that you will talk to me.

so i didnt say much to you. because i dono how to bring myself to talk to u normally and i also dont know what to say. if it offended you, i apologise again.

i have probably a million things to say to you. but i find it really hard to bring myself to talk to you. it is torturing me, but i still must do it, if not i think i will feel worse.

i know its been long since we even chatted, much things have happened. and now we are -distant- again. i feel fucking tong ku whenever i think of you.

again, i dont know if all these are going to make any sense to you.

haha, you might not even know what im talking about.

everything i do, there is a reason, and to me it is the best way out.

i am peaceful and i do not wish for conflict to happen.

i dont get angry easily... but that also means once i get angry, i become a person no one wants to see.

so sometimes i convert my anger into sadness, so i can only feel it for myself.

whether you will ever talk to me again, i dont know.

but if you do, i will try to speak something instead of a short and lame sentence.

once again, i say sorry.

周杰伦 got one song called 安静.
the entire song, even the fucking song title describes my fucking feeling.
i listen liao also feel like crying, i have no need to paste the lyrics here, i think everyone knows how to sing it.

..

2009-05-05T13:49:00.000+08:00

emo.

甘心替代你 - 郑伊健

不管天过风已起
只想依依看着你
夜阑人静会否仍可希冀
经得起优伤与悲
只因心中有著你
路遥长夜记忆从不舍弃
长街的身影穿过风雨有傲气
曾一起出走不怕闯进了绝地
如梦如烟
全像游戏
仿佛天和地在挑选我跟你
如像我亦重遇了生死
难道只好淌泪心痛告别你
无法让我此际替代你
无法让我甘心替代你

thanks hsienjun.

2009-05-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

title says it all

thanks hsienjun and jinghui(spelt it correctly or not?).

the intricacies of life

2009-05-03T07:18:00.001+08:00

天天都有落叶特别是今夜当沙沙的风吹每一片叶
掉一滴泪夜夜有人心碎他们相信谁当爱被结约
作何感觉莫非无忧也无悔依旧痴痴收藏落叶
傻的心傻到哭也流不出泪我无所谓我冷若冰
淡若水我不为梦留一点空侵略我禁闭心扉
当感情是唯一解不开的结而人爱听谁伤了谁
我愿是风中飘然惊落的叶我无所谓我伤过心
掉过泪我只在乎爱本无罪何苦要陷入重围
当世界被感情蒙上一层灰而我宁愿是最后的落叶

being always happy is an goddamned illusion, but at least its an happy illusion.

virtue, thy name is?

2009-05-03T06:25:00.003+08:00

sometimes, or rather on many occasions, you are obliged to accomplish a certain task.

you get about it, and the multitude of scenes of you thinking up methods and means to solve your problem fast forward in your mind like a cheap reel of film.

you come to a conclusion, was it a good one? a bad one?

urgh, it turned out to be bad. could it have been avoided, or there was an inherent flaw in your thoughts?

you know it, or you think you know it.

analyze ,compare, ......or wait for a better choice.

half of you says be contented with this particular choice, half of you says theres always a better choice.

both halves could be heavily influenced by a myriad of external and internal factors.

experience and intelligence will generally allow for a favourable and general outcome.

but there is always the unknown factor, the uncertainty, the which-cannot-be-explained, the unforeseen.

virtue, thy name is patience?

i hope so.

i read somewhere, they say the brain is more active and sensitive at wee hours and when you are not feeling sleepy.

not a ounce of doubt i should deduce so.

nelly - its getting hot in here

2009-04-28T17:55:00.003+08:00

yeah, nelly is right.

weather's being an absolute bitch, yup yup.

third rock from the sun, the fuck is wrong wit you?

scorching mornings, downpours in the afternoon and extremely humid evenings.

cold mornings, scorching afternoon all the way to night and fucking cold evenings.

or any combination of fucked up mornings and afternoons and evenings

whatever it is, its causing outbreaks of the dreaded 3-in-1 combo.

fever, sore throat, flu.

right now, i have two already, am i supposed to feel sadistically happy or something?

only thing now is to spam alot of water before i end up like a damn sick patient lying on bed and groaning arghhh.

[-sometimes the hardest thing in life is to decide which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn. we go back on our decision sometimes by fixing the burning/nt bridges and burning away the useless bridges-]

AS MUCH AS I WANT TO, I CANT BRING MYSELF TO DO IT. THATS THE PAIN OF SUCH A BEAUTIFUL IRONY.

never enough of what?

2009-04-23T18:00:00.002+08:00

been a rather draggy day, late dismount from camp, feeling rather lethargic.
haha, what's new btw!

a friend of mine is going overseas, thailand, for a one month training course.

heard it is 44 degrees celsius, crazy hot.

given the political unrest and whatever fuck-shit-nots in thailand now, it is of utmost unpopularity amongst travellers.

wish him good luck, : )

lol

2009-04-12T13:02:00.003+08:00

fun.play.eat.drink.poon.tired.sleep.chaos.whatever

want something, work for it. prove you are capable of that accomplishment and reap the rewards. do not simply try your best, because that is not enough. you must know what you are doing, then try your best. work's work, play's play, fen qing chu. the only good reason you might feel sad can be only because you failed, not because you did nothing and hoped to get something and did not get it.

-[emerald rose in the middle of a stained weed field]-

thoughts

2009-04-05T15:50:00.001+08:00

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinkin' times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And when we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change come whatever
We will still be Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat Chorus:

La, la, la, la…
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la…
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Repeat Chorus three times

for any of my friends that are reading this now, this is for you. :) i love you guys.

the day we all grow old.

2009-03-30T21:25:00.002+08:00

:(

it is inevitable.

there will come a day when we will all become old people.

we are young now, but youth does not last forever.

our hairs will turn grey, our skin will wrinkle, our memory will deteriote, our health will deprove.

we might not even take care of ourselves.

how many friends and how many loved ones would you have by then?

are you going to become a burden?

our life will change. it is sad, but real.

fuck sia, i dont want to grow old but no one can be peter pan.

look at today: the society's attitude towards the elderly. yes, there are caring people around, but the amount is getting lesser as time passes.

i think everyone has heard the story about a grandfather, his son(a father) and his grandson, a huge basket and a trip to the mountain.

...

if i really grow so old by then, i have only one wish, i hope my friends and my wife can die before me, because 留下来的人比去的人痛苦几百倍.

so sad right? haiz...

:)

forget it, we all should look on the brighter side of life and live what we have now.

车到山前必有路，船到桥头自然直.

only thing that matters is what 车 and what 船 you have been through in your life.

please remember.

2009-03-24T14:06:00.006+08:00

people tend to forget about things that happened in the past, be it anything, sad or happy or whatever.

when it is the past and what your physical and mental self have experienced which has made us the very what we are today.

it is like baking a cake and forgetting the exact components and ingredients of a the cake after you are done!

remembering the past, i feel, makes us a more complete person..

even if the past hurts, it only serves as a greater reason why we should remember them, because the more it hurts, the more we should not repeat our mistakes again.

ah... the good old times.

: )

: (

: D

it is a huge pity that the newer generations will miss out on what we have experienced in the past.

children nowdays are so modernised, they lose the beautiful innocence at a younger age than we did. knowledge and exposure to life corrupts and destroys innocence. as a child who is not exposed to such stuff, you will have a more meaningful and beautiful memory because simply you are having fun in your own little world and cant be bothered with anything else.

but sooner or later, everything comes to us.

people like us who were born in the 80s to the early 90s were exposed to so much fun and memorable things, i can list so many:

my brain is fuzzy, so lets start in a chronological order.

what i am going to type is what i can rememberrrr...so if you have more, please feel free to add on!

-50 cent car rides at people's park/chinatown area
-lau pa sat!
-playgrounds with the dragon thing, if you know what im talking about
-firecrackers!
-sizzling sticks and guns that we can buy from the mama shop and play!
-captain planet
-he-man!
-ultraman
-old farm visits @ lim chu kang area, got chicken cow all the animal also have, i dont know if they are still around now
-mighty morphin' power rangers
-very old board and card games that i dont remember
-very cheap chocolate and strawberry milk that they make us drink during primary school
-10 cent country eraser that we keep playing and buying
-1 dollar chicken rice, now knn everything so ex, u eat chicken rice at food court can 4 dollar, the chicken inside got gold, thats why so expensive.
-constable acai
-pensmanship( the 6 animals for the 6 years of your primary school english textbook)
-bookworm gang
-hao peng you
-zhi shi hua bao
-old textbook syllabus and design that are so retro
-TAMAGOTCHI! HAHAHA! (feed your tamagotchi and wash their shit or they will die)
-pokemon
-digimon
-digivice (the shake shake one then your digimon will fight one)
-all the old disney shows!Mickey Mouse,Donald Duck,Minnie Mouse all the duno what mouse and duck cute cute one, Lion King, Pocahontas, Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Bambi, The Jungle Boy, 101 Dalmatians, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty and the 7 Dwarves and many more...
-and the less famous ones like Rapunzel, Sandman etc
-old mrt.... only got red line and i can remember all the station.. now the station so many until simi kanasai i also cant remember, ok la cool very convenient, island-wide eh??? build to sentosa and tuas ok ma? but it is nice to remember what the mrt only was to what it is now.
-taxi inside got the ting teng ting teng, duno for what but usually high speed den have de
[updated]
-big fat heavy gameboys to slim psps
-pager -> handphones
-monophones -> polyphones with touch screens
-last time bus use ticket, now ez-link
-some bus no aircon, now all aircon
-last time all night market got roller coaster, now only Escape have
-cigarette from 10 sticks $2.90 to 20 stick $10

any more? speak up!

hi tuesday

2009-03-17T12:44:00.003+08:00

(Aladdin) I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me princess, now when did you last
Let your heart decide

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
or where to go
Or say where only dreaming

(Jasmine) A whole new world
A dazzling place i never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world
With you

(Aladdin) Now I'm in a whole new world with you

(Jasmine) Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling
Through an endless diamond sky
A whole new world
(Aladdin) Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
(Aladdin) Hold your breath it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
(Aladdin) A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red letter
(Together) I'll chase them everywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this
Whole new world with you
(Aladdin)A whole new world
(Jasmine)A whole new world
(Aladdin)That's where we'll be
(Jasmine)That's where we'll be
(Aladdin)A thrilling chase
(Jasmine)A wondrous place
(Together)For you and me

such a beautiful song, so dreamy and nolstagic, reminding us of the past, what we once had and what could have been
how can modern crap like high school musical compare to this?
high school musical is fucking gay.
only vanessa hudgens made it less of a epic fail.

-Have you ever heard the wolf cried to the blue corn moon, or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?

bring back the wow please

2009-03-17T02:16:00.002+08:00

whatfucksoever, i havent blog for awhile, been busy and really sianed.

with damn lot of things.

anyway, i think i am really crazy to cycle to yishun and back from woodlands with my friend.

however crazy i or anybody think it was, i think it was at least some crazy fun.

watching the people i pass by, do they see me like i see them?

you see me as a cyclist right there, but i see you as something to be noticed of my two hour+ journey.

there is always something interesting to observe about so many a thing.

yawn. i am tired of being tired.

bring back my old life, bring back the wow.

pre-book in syndromes

2009-02-27T02:28:00.002+08:00

the chatbox and the imeem in my blog is scrooooooooo-ed up.

fuck care already.

wasted my entire afternoon today at some thingee at marina barrage.

i was expecting some sumptious dinner for the magnitude of the event but no, jitao go there already feel the level 99 sian-ness aura permeating into me.

cb heng we siam fast if not sure sian until grow mushroom on my head.

went makansutra with dali james zz nicholas eric lionel.

ordered alot of food. eat until stomach become wtf happy.

anyway nicholas, if you are reading this, why u dunwan eat sia.

how could any normal human being, starved and famished, stare at that table and say no? ! ? ! ? !

nvm theres always a next time, 天下虽没有白吃的午餐, 但总有不散之宴席吧..

: )

P.s i suck at bowling.

yadnus

2009-02-22T23:14:00.005+08:00

bought myself a mic for skyping purposes. my friend insisted on it.

:) ok.

turned out pretty well.

-yes,yes,yes. you deduce, and you generalize. and you dont bother. you assume. perhaps you are too brainless and dumb to realise the true intentions, ludicrious dimwit piece of rubbish fuck-shit.

DEPENDING on the person, i can be very nice or i can be very mean if i want to, but i only bring out my guns if you point one at me.

: )

2009-02-22T04:52:00.006+08:00

it was great today!

many thanks to in no particular order kuanlong minghuang and fuchang for making it a great night.

chivas as usual, followed by a bottle of heineken each. hahahaah.

great songs we sang as well. lololol. havent sang for awhile, zao-siad a bit at the extremely high notes.

i guess the best feeling you can get from alcohol consumption is when you are mildly intoxicated but not drunk(otherwise known as the common "high" feeling) and realising that your friends around you are also about the same.

well maybe except fuchang. he still seems so energetic, doing the thai bar dance and humourous stuff.

and that bowl of bak chor mee was the best ive tasted in awhile(you guys said it was too spicy but i found it ok?) :D

absolutely delicious.

WE SHALL MEET IN A FORTNIGHT'S TIME!

it is 5am now, i dont feel like sleeping LOL. well i just might sleep because nobody is awake at this hour, but not before ive played a couple of games of ... dota!

now, die noobs.

-whatever, just dont regret it. even if you would, its ok. i can like, totally understand why. one of the many reasons is that you are a moron.

-_-^_^o_o@_@>_<

2009-02-20T12:06:00.007+08:00

people might forget what you said.
people might forget what you did.
but almost nobody forgets how you made them feel when you were with them.

also, ravishing's skin deep, not mascara lipstick or silicone.
it is human nature to be partially or totally deceived by first looks or impressions.
no one can elude this evolutionary trait as well.

little minds discuss people, great minds discuss ideas.
ah, whatever comes off the top of my head.
until then, enjoy and have fun, whatever makes us happy.

-its ok, i dont need anything really, now just get the fuck out of my sight. you are an offense to the five senses.

may great minds think alike

2009-02-19T11:01:00.005+08:00

Dear Lazy Fingers,

Hi There. (^_-)
Its been a while since i typed and blogged, i apologize for my tardiness. I do not know exactly why, perhaps i am just too tired and negligent. I hope this will make up for it, even though it may not seem like much. You know i am still always here for you :), whether you care or not, afterall you are (like) my fingers. haha.
NS(National Service but i call it Nasty Slavery) is boring to the max. Im so fucking sianed with it. I know i keep repeating the same thing over and over again but understand that this is my only way to somehow release my inner angst about how screwed up it is. I could type a billion words about its awesome lampoonery and crappiness and shittiness whatsoever and that wouldnt suffice.
Still, i type. Its only natural to do so. It is afterall, better than nothing.
I am going to be free! for these few days, so i am going to make full use of the time! to do fun! and meaningful! things.
:) ) )
i am going to make myself very happy, and the people around me happy. I think about the many many things i could do and my heart silently rejoices in dignified pride or so. The feeling of freedom, be it physical or mental, is like nothing could ever resemble.
Freedom, freedom. It will be the embodiment of much things i do from today. Lalala, i dont care.

Nemajneb

-[beautiful are things that could have been, or are lost in time but fresh in the mind]-

drowning

2009-02-06T16:05:00.008+08:00

its been awhile, G-2

i neither remember or forgot you, it could be both though.

i constantly remind myself to forget about you, even know i know its the biggest irony ever.

i have been largely irritable lately, welled up and wallowing in the wholesome-ness of all my negative vibes.

i have not been in the best of health also, and its another of those times when i lose control of my emotions easily.

haiz.

fucked up.

...

i also have a splitting headache now.

i dont know what to type now

a subtle smiley would suffice..

:(

i guess it is goodbye forever.

if you believe in reincarnation and the afterlife, 但愿我们来生再相遇 .

until then.

i wont feel sad. sad is too simple a word to describe my feelings.

-[那个傻瓜, -是我]-

darbliuteef.

2009-02-02T14:45:00.003+08:00

to whom this may matter, i hope everyone is happy with the new temporary life we are all having.

hope may be an indulgence though.

im ok with it, slightly pleased.

thats all for now! will update later..

bored?

http://www.addictinggames.com/theimpossiblequiz.html

pretty fun game. will require a correct mix of brains and lameness though, LOLOLOL.

-[if your life was to be a movie, what movie would it be?]-

equal sign rotated 90°, a parabola below.

2009-01-29T13:02:00.008+08:00

i am quite happy today because i finally found something ive been looking for for a long time.

i found my disco ufo lights!

omg, the lightssss are soo pretty can!

spin spin spin!

hahaha!

LOOLOL.

weee!!!!

knn this thing i find kanpua long already! so happpyy!

lol.

n i just cut my hair. zz it looks ok, just the appropriate length i want.

-[life without mewzeek, is not life]-

true, you could survive without it, but to me you cant thrive without it.

arh.

2009-01-28T10:10:00.004+08:00

i had a disappointing trip to sim lim square and sim lim tower.

i did not hold high hopes when i went those 2 places on chu er to buy my cable for my speakers, cause i noe sure got alot of shop nvr open.

but thats ok, ill be happy if they tell me they dont sell that kind of cable.

BUT NO.

its amazing in a sarcastic way how stupid some people can get.

i am not generalizing here, but i REALLY HATE those indian shop owners at sim lim square.

the story was as thus:

i walked into the shop and asked politely if they sell this kind of cable, *takes out my cable and show to them*

indian shop owner : got got got, u go inside see.

benjamin : ...... (is this my shop or your shop, ok nvm i go see)

------search inside the shop for 2o+ minute and found nothing similar to what i want to buy, tamade----------------

benjamin : hey, i cant find, can you help me?

indian shop owner : (stares at me like an idiot) you buy my this kind of speakers, better than yours

he proceeds to take out one ten dollar cheapskate china mickey mouse brand speakers that he thinks is better than my cyber red minimax subwoofer speakers.

he still wants to demo to me his speaker when i already know my speaker is so loud at max volume that i can almost go deaf.

benjamin, amused but nvm : i dont think so leh, i asked for this thing and you show me another thing. and also, you waste my time. dont have say dont have, dont try to be funny.

i was like aiya suan ler no point wasting time talking to this kind of retarded ass.

i walked out of the shop.

chao bangalas.

-[事到如今, 我早已分不清, 是友情, 还是错过的爱情 ]-

yo today is chu er.

2009-01-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

chu yi has passed so now is chu er -_-.

just like any other year. but next year ill not be a green man!

just finished uploading and upgrading my music files-i feel my personal music folder is like a treasure trove man. so much good quality stuffs!! people say i have the weirdestest songs :(

-[something as simple as scissors-paper-stone is the hidden concept behind many problems/enigmas of life]-

新年(不?)快乐, 一年比一年笨.

2009-01-24T11:45:00.002+08:00

gone were the days where i would be able to ease pass any regular iq test with a 140-ish to almost 150 score.

not exercising your brains for a quite lengthy period of time certainly has its own downfalls.

: (

i r stupidszdsaxxxx.

-[游戏有游戏的规则 ,做人有做人的原则 ]-

what the chocolate fudge

2009-01-23T19:38:00.002+08:00

i shall keep this simple and slantbackward.

i am tired. tired is an understatement; my psychological health is ebbing away gradually but surely.

my tired fingers tap down on the jet black keyboard with moderate force. tappity tap tap on the little dirty black squares to produce these english words and sentences that mean something to me right now.

this keyboard feels weird. this place feels weird. i am being surrounded by weird sounds.

stranger in a stranger world.

i am not at home, i miss home.

loneliness surrounds me.

irregardless of that, i will not be spending most of my (happy?) new year outside of camp. __(-_- __ )

how horrendously dreadful is the feeling of being in camp on new year's eve.

i hope i can go home tonight. hope. hope? hope!

hope is diminished to the lowly depths of the netherworld in this so-called civillised-barbaric hellhole.

-[lost in a rhythm so right, cost me my freedom tonight]-

i need more spare time.

2009-01-22T00:50:00.005+08:00

grr.

no time, no time. the twin hands of time are waging a permanent war against me.

i bought my new year clothes, my favourite flower button loanshark wannabe t-shirts, they look so sexy omfg!

-[slaughter of the living is tragic but murder of the idea is unforgivable]-
-[scorning originality and creativity, however absurd, shows how much of a robot the world has made us to be. underrated]-

人情世事-是否已经看透?

2009-01-15T23:23:00.008+08:00

有一日咱若老　找无人甲咱友孝　我会陪你

坐惦椅寮　听你讲少年的时阵　你有外摮

吃好吃丑无计较　怨天怨地嘛袂晓　你的手

我会甲你牵条条　因为我是你的家后

阮将青春嫁置恁兜　阮对少年跟你跟甲老

人情世事已经看透透　有啥人比你卡重要

阮的一生献乎恁兜　才知幸福是吵吵闹闹

等待返去的时阵若到　我会让你先走

因为我会呒甘　放你为我目屎流

有一日咱若老　有媳妇子儿友孝　你若无聊

拿咱的相片　看卡早结婚的时阵　你外缘投

穿好穿丑无计较　怪东怪西嘛袂晓

你的心我会永远记条条　因为我是你的家后

阮将青春嫁置恁兜　阮对少年就跟你跟甲老

人情世事嘛已经看透透　有啥人比你卡重要

阮的一生献乎恁兜　才知幸福是吵吵闹闹

等待返去的时阵若到　你着让我先走

因为我会呒甘　看你为我目屎流

should i let my life be decided by only my instincts and actions resulting from the instincts, or could it be more complicated than i've ever thought?

which way is right, which way is wrong?

am i wrong to think that there is a wrong and right way?

perhaps they is no right or wrong way, its the way you choose your existing life.

its so silly, i could go on for hours and tie my brain in knots.

but right now, i give you 2 options, to be a thinker, or to be someone who drifts along the mindless currents of life.

you and me, we only have one life you know.

ill forever be the thinker, irregardless.

-[amidst the facades, moments of sadness and happiness whether they last or not, fleeting desires, truthful lies, lying truth, irony that scream what-the-hell in your face, what do i really seek?]-

龙游浅水遭虾戏, 虎落平阳被犬欺

2009-01-13T02:01:00.006+08:00

you, or i! might have lost ourselves in the midst of life; we might be suffering, we might be enjoying!

humans have egos and self-awarenesses, so almost nobody would admit that they are lying to themselves right from the base of the heart.

they tell themselves and everybody what everybody wants to hear, people like to hear good things, see good stuff.

人就是那么肤浅.

just about everyone.

almost nobody appreciates the hidden stuff behind things, until someone initiates the chain of interest.

its like nobody bothers to buy the special set meal even though everyone knows that thing exists.

maybe my example is a bit off. but it is an example afterall, just a tad inferior.

easy way out is what everybody does, was that a natural decision, passed down from our ancient ancestors via genes and evolution?

everything you do, your physical acts, your intents be it benevolent or malicious, might not have any meaning at all... is that what you really think you want?

think twice, think thrice, always constantly thinking, pondering, upgrading your thoughts to the higher rungs of the mental ladder.

i could be very simple and straightforward, but i know that would be ironic, because everything ive just typed above would be against myself.

sigh.

if life was to be about obeying the laws of nature and everything natural, i would object violently because i believe everyone should fight for your own individual needs and desires.

that could be disastrous, only because the majority of the people succumbs so willingly.

simply put, i believe submitting yourself to the mundane aspect of life is totally wrong, no matter how right it may seem to you and everyone.

we are all intelligent beings! why!

ice kachang is colourful and delicious, but nobody will notice that it is only bits of cold solidified water and sugars with many kinds of colouring.

-[i dont believe in fate- but i believe in over-occurence of minute possibilities]-

woo

2009-01-06T13:06:00.002+08:00

after all the positive comments from everyone, i want to watch ip man!

anyway, its not pronounced as i-pee-man.

its more of... yip marn.

-[singing makes us feel good, a desire for temporal immortalization of your mood and feelings in audio form]-

sat afternoon

2008-12-27T12:06:00.002+08:00

haiz very sian, looks like i am going to sleep for a long time because im so tired.

-[life is full of choices that dont give you much choices, and life is fair because life is unfair, hahaha]-

next year this time of the year, ill be free by long!

2008-12-25T15:16:00.003+08:00

in singapore, it doesnt snow. it rains....

the rain is wtfknncrazy.

ton overnight is fun with friends, drank, ate good food, played!

haha, baileys is delicious!

nm rly

2008-12-16T18:16:00.001+08:00

like title says.

nil, zilch, egg, kosong, nothing, none, blank, empty, void, whatsoever.

where parallel lines could meet

2008-12-13T12:48:00.004+08:00

yeah, you could probably shout what the fuck at this lame december weather..

its so fucking hot, christmas day shouldnt be santa claus, reindeers and christmas trees.

christmas should be osama bin laden, camels and cacti(plural for cactus ok!)..

hahaha.. i cant believe this man! its either raining like crazy, or so hot i am constantly tempted to drink water.

walan wei. nabey puabai.

-[true, dumb, irrational love that is impossible to achieve in life today is giving what you do not have to someone who doesnt need it]-

yep yep its sunday

2008-12-07T11:04:00.004+08:00

and im still unwell...

i feel better already, on friday was worse because when i drank water it felt like swallowing dry acid

now my voice is at an all-time low, i am talking in a very deep and sexy voice.

stupid sickness -_- i hate taking medicine also, but life dont give you much choices..

why do i have to always be unwell on nice days like this, its blatant mockery.

haha.

whatever...- -

-[always flush the toilet with a filled up pail, you will save more money that way]-

sick

2008-12-04T19:45:00.003+08:00

after 2 days of duty in the hot sun, i am officially down with sore throat, headache and fever.

its not that i did not drink enough water; i always make it a point to.

mm going to see a doctor now, we shall see how it goes...

so i am now on medical leave and due to the coincidental leave i took on the following day, i am now free till monday. ha.

-[dota-不怕有再强的对手，只怕有像猪的队友]-

M is for Monday

2008-12-01T12:39:00.003+08:00

gahh. tired...

should i go out later?

half me is telling me to and the other half me is saying no, so i think i will decide myself. yeah the sentence doesnt sound right, because im confused and sleepy.

-[its not always rainbows and butterflies-its compromise that moves us along]-

what the sian yo

2008-11-28T13:09:00.004+08:00

lol, tonight going to book in as part of the omg-so-grand-ex-torrent-that-it-is-on-the-papers ..

and i just book out this morning only, how shitty life is now -_-

sian, i am going to buy some food in.

look at the weather, it is telling me not to go out today.

going to play lots of dota before i book in at night, something i really enjoy doing passionately as of now

-[T is for Time and T is for Treasure too, so T your T]-

ferocious hounds and crazy machines

2008-11-25T11:57:00.003+08:00

i swear to god, the deafening roar of fighter jets makes formula one racing cars sound like pathetic little kittens.

especially when you are sitting 20 metres in front of them, and the blast rock your place when you are sitting.

thankfully i have my ears covered...

that night, i saw the scariest dogs in my life. they didnt even looked like dogs, more like a bloodthirsty pack of starved wolves.

it is the first time i have never seen such determined ferocity dogs display towards human beings, barking and growling and spinning restlessly in their tiny caged compounds.

from my understanding of animals, i could probably figure that they were ill-treated/trained from young.

i could almost feel the melancholy and loneliness behind their sad pale yellow eyes.

..

-[you could be my battery and i could be your torchlight-because i cant function without you and you cannot find your way without me]-

领悟.

2008-11-22T11:43:00.004+08:00

hey..

boredom has overcame me.

not that it matters, but some of my blog content do come from the 2 minutes of dream recallation that occurs right after you wake up from a deep sleep. At that moment, for me, the brain is extremely active, but all the thoughts disappear when i go toilet to brush teeth.

i could remember most probably i was dreaming about chocolates, namely ferroro rocher and human behaviour.

somehow, the 2 topics criss-crossed and combined into one topic, the human chocolate.

some info from wikipedia:

Ferrero Rocher are spherical chocolate sweets made by Ferrero SpA. The sweets consist of a whole roasted hazelnut encased in a thin wafer shell filled with nutella/hazelnut cream and covered in milk chocolate and chopped hazelnuts. The sweets contain approximately 304 kJ of energy, and are individually packaged inside a gold-coloured wrapper.In Canada, Brazil, Hong Kong and Malaysia, Ferrero Rocher is a popular gift during the holidays, especially during Chinese New Year. Chinese culture associates the gold of the packaging with good fortune and wealth.

lol, are we all getting chocolate-hungry already? i am nearly salivating because i am always very hungry when i wake up.

somehow, i had this topic about how some human personalities are like ferroro rocher.

ferroro rocher has 3 layers, like me. like a ferroro rocher, i am also quite nutty as well.

this is what i feel about myself.

im lazy to elaborate, but 聪明的你 can imagine it, can you?

none whatsoever

2008-11-19T11:51:00.015+08:00

A7x - Afterlife

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
So unsure but it seems, ’cause we’ve been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear
Escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on
Far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, ’cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I’m much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Give me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on
Far away from here

Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
Take me back inside when the time is right

Loved ones back home all crying ’cause they're already missing me
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be
(I am unbroken; I’m choking on this ecstasy)
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear
Escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here

Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
Take me back inside when the time is right

-[more often than always, the source of great humour is the truth from a creative perception]-

thats sunday for you

2008-11-16T13:57:00.007+08:00

my usb line is spoiled due to duno what reason , i think its because when i attach to my minimax speakers keep pulling until its damn weird now.

going to funan it to buy!

[updated]

ended up buying at cwp, its cheaper...

walked like mad today! knnb ccb tired hahaha. from city hall walk walk walk den mrt to bugis frm bugis walk to little india( mistake ) and walk to dhoby ghaut then somerset then orchard. ate so much trash.

all in all, not less than 6 shopping places were visited, i think.

-[your own life is an equation that can only be solved by your own death- the prime difference lies in the way you solve it, up till the very end]-

give and take

2008-11-13T18:59:00.009+08:00

undesirable sacrifices we have to make with unsatisfactory results sometimes.

thats... life for you.

i have taught myself to make decisions for a higher purpose and good; what you see is not always what you get.

even if you get it, it may not remain what made you want it in the first place.

haha... sometimes, things are just so ridiculous to the max, you are so numbed and disappointed that you dont know whether to laugh or not.

some people acknowledge and accept,

some people rebel violently,

some people try to change the way things are.

which 'some people' are you?

..

..

if i tell you im good, you would probably think im boasting.

if i tell you im not good, you would probably think im lying.

when you are nice, people take advantage of you.

when you are not, people want you to be a nicer person.

The one tragic fact of life is that stupid people are so cocksure about themselves and intelligent people so full of doubts.

the way of doing and managing things is all about moderation.

haha. what the fuck right? yeah what the fuck.

to wish that you were someone else is to waste the person you are.

-[being happy just means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections already]-

woke up at 4am after falling asleep at 11pm or so for no reason -_-

lose yourself

2008-11-10T22:29:00.008+08:00

yeah i did. i had quite some fun today, and felt happy about it.

happy about everything done today.

im tired and lazy.

...

dont think again

enough harm has been done

you will be sad, but its damn fucked up to feel sad

so just be happily dulan about it

now longer partially subservient

ultimately, your own being is above all

i taught you that, of course i must practice what i preach

nnbfckingccb, there will be almost no exceptions

for as long as i will it to be

...

if there is a wall and the wall is ugly, no matter how good the quality of paint i use for painting the ugly wall, when all the paint drop off, you will have a fucking ugly wall again.

and remember, it will only look more and more obvious the more you try to cover it up.

you may wish to ignore it, but maybe you can stop living in your little own world because everyone else knows it.

lol fucking cheebye, fuck you to hell and back.

I THINK I WILL FEEL BETTER IF THE NEXT ONE YEAR OF MY LIFE GO PASS SWIFTLY

and its not just about the army

-[an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a hug a day definitely keeps the psychiatrist at bay]-

zombie-fied.

2008-11-07T12:17:00.005+08:00

last 2 days were like no day no night, sibei shag, tired tired tired.

-_-
my longest sleeping time is about three and a half hours

i need to rest now
...

...

decided not to go out today, because 1) i am exhausted, 2) the weather

its the start of november, but from my window here it looks like a swelthering june afternoon.

looks like global warming is starting to have an impact on our lives.

-[songs are what feelings sound like, the best song is one that best relates to you]-

free

2008-11-04T13:26:00.005+08:00

This is going to be quite a long post.

Blistering cold, passionately hot. Is what most describes my mood now.

Not conflicting, but its very me to look at the bad side of good things and the good side of bad things.

I think it gives you a balanced view of things. That way, when you make any decisions, you are less prone to any kinds of mistakes.

Back to what had happened the last few days. It was all quite monotonous. Getting confined because of something lame is not what the average person who looks forward to every precious bookout expects. Fuck.

Actions without thoughts. Thoughts without reason. Pointless.

At least from -my- point of view.

Obviously, "they" abhor individualism. To put it clearly, individualism =/= selfishness. They are like 2 very different words, to a very large extent.

It may all seem perfectly ok, as everyone is used to it, but they do not want to hear your own true opinions. Nor do they want you to voice it out. It is shunned and being hostiled against not matter how right and logical is is. It is about as akin to saying your say could be rejected and discarded like outright trash.

For me and many of us who were brought up in this era, in this world, in this country,( we are educated and intelligent beings) this is preposterous. To the damn max.

It could be as bluntly put forwrads as they are simply not adhering to their own beliefs and protocols.

Why the irony? Why the mask that they wear? Why the obvious deception?
Blind, deaf, dumb... or perhaps all?
From the third perspective of unbiased view, what they put forward is very shallow and meaningless.

I believe in the saying "tough times dont last, tough men do".

But what they are trying to put forward, is it really an absolute necessity? I dont think so, hence bring my point to whence it started: why the false pretence?

Anyway, new topic.

Fear!

Why do we fear!

I feel fear is a mix of fascination, disgust and curiosity. (Which is why some people enjoy watching horror shows)

Anything not familiar transmitted to the fives senses could be 'defined' as 'abnormal' and 'hostile' to the human body. It is the body's form of protection mechanism.

Picture a scenario where you feel something suddenly coming from behind you. NOW! try to imagine...

At this point of time. you do not know the intentions of this unknown object.

It could be your friend who wants to tickle you, or a robber who wants to steal your money.

Initially, by only possibly your sense of touch and hearing, you will feel 'disturbed' and slightly fearful, until your body reacts(by turning around) to allow the other senses to further process the information to clarify/confirm the details of the thing/object.

Hahaha.

Reminder to myself: songs to download

郑伊健 - 甘心替代你 (古惑仔)
林俊傑 - 江南
王力宏 & 盧巧音 - 好心分手

All canto! Canto rocks!

-[the shadows in your life-most of them are caused by standing in your own sunshine]-

^_- face

2008-10-29T13:31:00.013+08:00

zzzz damn sian. now end duty early also cannot go home. drag n drag until super late. damn fucking 百无聊赖.

that in english means SUPER BORED, and its very wu liao also, i feel. you are wasting human resources, wasting time and also wasting life. most importantly, no one is happy about it.

sometimes when people operate things from another perspective blindly, it doesnt occur to them that it is actually fucking stupid, which is what it is.

i hope they will realise it is all pointless, sooner or later. if not, we will all eat shit and die in the drain.

still. want. us. to donate. you listen ah, donate. to. the. damn. place.

donate is volunteery right? no, you are forced to donate. what the eff-you-see-kay.

nb chao pu bor sia.

i remember a few instances in my life when i donated like more den 30 or 40 dollars to some needy foundations and i felt happy about it because i helped someone. call the charity tv also got. kanina now you make me 1 cent also dont feel like giving.

our lives there are already quite miserable. its not like we got alot of incentives or what. if got maybe nvm.

im not rich also ok, you think what, i shit notes from my backside isit? LOL

i kiam siap? its actually not about the money ok, its about the way you treat ppl and do things. its like some modus operandi or something. i from want to donate also dont want liao. sickening.

anyway, chill!

and so... that when i was doing duty with the new bird at night, chatted alot and eventually we talked about the supernatural stuff and the human mind. somehow, somehow, we listed 3 things in todays' horror movies that drove chills up the spine of people. we did not include gore, because i feel that is a totally different thing.

1) long hair
2) long sharp and hard fingernails scratching against surfaces like metal doors and chalkboards and producing a horrible high pitched screeching noise
3) female zombies crawling in an unnatural manner with superhuman strength, this is a bit vague, but i will explain.

and so we were thinking why these 3 sights bring so much fear and uneasiness into most people, including myself...hmmm (update soon)

-[ask yourself if you are happy, then you cease to be, all of a sudden]-

sundae

2008-10-26T12:38:00.016+08:00

woke up today with weird thoughts, indulged in reminiscence for awhile. quickly cleared that out of my mind,
沉默往往是最后的温柔

late bookout thanks(no thanks) to new rules and regulations...whatever. fucked up.

maybe going out later... should be most probably.

because saw a damn nice shirt at esprit orchard awhile back, super tempted to buy.

temptations...now thats a whole new topic not for discussion now.

lunch is laksa, wow damn shiok. im not a fan of spicy food, but this is heavenly.

the tao gay, the cockles, the tau pok, the fishball , o m f g la

[updated]

so damn tired. its almost 2am and i have to wake up at 5.30am or so for tomorrow. deepavali still need to go back camp.. kanina yan der pu de na bu.

shortly after i consumed my laksa, my life as of today is roughly as follows minus all the details :

-went to meet jon at yiochukang, den proceed to meet eug at orchard

-shopping 1/2 way, KENA RECALL BACK TO CAMP... run all the way back to choa chu kang.

-after dai ji settle, go back woodlands meet jon, den go orchard again.

-bought all my stuffs, go back woodlands

-from woodlands go changi airport

-saw mr eug off to his taiwan trip

-reached home 1.30am, damn tired, i slept like a zombie inside the car

some interesting points to note.

1) esprit, topman and in general all the shops at wisma sell awesome clothes, for both sexes. im talking about those

medium prices affordable ones. sibei nice! especially the one i bought today!

2) popeye, a fast food restaurant which only exists at 2 outlets at terminal 2(i think) and 3 at changi airport, sells

VERY GOOD chicken and mashed potatoes, so muchhh better than kfc, anyone should try it out next time they go

near changi airport. the chicken is tamade good.

3) i have not been to changi airport for a damn long time lor, it is like a paradise now. everything is so

damn wonderful lol, i am going to go shopping there some time again man!

it has been a both a great and shitty day. hahahaha.

-[a battle not fought is almost often a war won]-

friday represents temporary freedom

2008-10-24T13:41:00.007+08:00

friday signifies the coming of saturday and sunday, where we would all possibly take a break

everytime you realise its a friday, one week of your life has passed. unwittingly.

its like smlj? one week pass liao?

the sands of time never flow back. they only leave behind memories.

was the past one week happy? was it meaningful, at least to you? if you could, would you want to go back to last friday again?

how many people actually remember what happened in their life for the past one week?
..
some people vaguely do
..
thats because their current life is a repetitive cycle, like me.
..
human machines, with programmed emotions...
..

almost no difference from real machines.

woke up today with a bad tummy, went to camp, got sent home for forced leave. THANKS AH. ok nvm bopian lor, got no choice also. kcuf , hongkan.

i feel i am becoming fat. but no leh..i think its psychological nia. eat eat eat eat, maybe its time to really exercise again.

for the first time in such a long time to come, i played dota until i felt tired.

but it was fun and always will be, to play with friends. : )

-[ill be waiting at the other end of the rainbow, if you need me after the storm]-

P.S just remember to bring me some sweet honey, because i feel like a bee today. =p

home

2008-10-23T18:35:00.001+08:00

i must say...

that my mental juice is on low flow today.

i am at a total loss for words...blank.

at least for now!

...spent the whole late afternoon and evening downloading some songs and playing Untold Legends on my psp. dinner order mac. lol 我受不了 Macdonald's 的诱惑 , too long never eat liao.. so order macspicy double upsize + more lettuce ....

the new wasabi shaker fries is not bad... i feel

Untold Legends grind until 3am, fucking tired. Pillow, here i come.

-[人不為己,他妈的天誅地滅]-

your average simple complicated day

2008-10-20T17:10:00.000+08:00

my first ever blog post. like what the hell. how should i start?

like this?

WEEEEE ITS MY FIRST POST EVER! PLEASE TAG ME IF YOU KNOW ME!

no..

that will look

absolutely stupid! and very childish on first look. it may have in-depth sarcasm. but it looks childish.

and very the shen jing bing as well.

amazing how simple words can have so many meanings on an analytical person like me.

But anyway, if you are my friend : ) please tag me.

i suddenly! got the urge to create because i have a desire to pen down, or in this case, type down, the thoughts of my life now. i hope they would become fond memories.

i would relish the good ones.
and laugh at the bad ones.
i hope.. : (

but i think it is going to be a lengthy first post..

here we go and i apologize for my vulgarities.

i swear, the *place* i am in now is getting fucked up nowadays. seriously to hell with all the damn rules and regulations, a group of people who work together for a better cause ultimately should rely on trust and friendship. NOT DICTACTED BY SOME FUCKING RULES which will only get nerfed* sooner or better.

*a term for downgraded

ok genius, then what is the point of putting them up in the first place? nabey. you dont want to help people, at least help yourself. but no, you just want everybody to die with you. fucking stupid.

i hate scolding vulgarities seriously, but this is just wtf buay tahan. to the fucking max. i cant work with authorities who has got massive toilet bowls for cranial capacities.

we are not stupid de leh. stop thinking that we are like you, or maybe worse. we are all fucking educated in a country with a fair living system.( at least we were made to believe it is )**oooh the irony.

damn fucking sian sia. still got one more year. i only enjoy the place because of friends. to hell with almost everything else. zzzz.

even the food is disgusting.

actually it isnt... THAT would be insulting the word disgusting.

to be honest i made this. this blog. a week ago.. but i was too busy to think and write .. and maybe also partially kinda lazy as well...

recently in my life again, it has been quite happening. in a very unfortunate way. it has been more than one week ago.

it is one of those moments where you spend a couple of days in total dementia(almost) and become sane and normal very fast again because ive learnt from past lessons. 很痛苦. all the negative feelings come to you like all the raindrops flowing to a small drain.

sad? sorry man. im afraid sadness is only the beginning.

it is always a game of flying kites.
big wind, kite fly very fast and high, but more chance to fly away.
small wind, kite sometimes dont fly, when kites sometimes dont fly, people take your kite and fly.
no wind, lagi worse. DEN YOU BUY KITE FOR WHAT!!

we live in a world of desires and expectations. we always expect the kite to fly back to you at the end of the day. but we knn never think the fucking string will break one cos you damn idiot never buy insurance for the kite.

fuck la, even if got insurance, they pay you for the kite, the kite maybe also spoil liao.

sometimes new kite too expensive. not in $ way.

i hate flying kites. they hurt me so badly. t.t

天有不测风云 sounds so appropriate now. in both meanings. haha. CRUEL PHRASE!

my friend said it is like toys. but i think he too crude liao. at least kite got more YIMOSHENS...

afterwards you grind your songlist to relieve yourself. play and play and play non stop until sometimes no feeling.

when it comes to doing things, i am either a passionate perfectionist, or just super duper lazy(because i dont care about the end results)

when it is the former, i expect everyone to be a-sort-of honourable and trustworthy because you yourself put so much effort and time into it. and when i fail, i can be very very very upset. hard to recover. confidence shattered, thought asundered, every word related to breaking and destroying comes to you.

uoy evol llits i. just maybe not that much anymore. i am a person, a human, with all emotions a normal human should have afterall.

and i hate to hear sad things. we are all human beings, and sometimes we are too complacent and indulgent to see how fragile life can be.
you weep.
you cry.
after that you forget again. return from hell to paradise and forget how life is like with hell and no paradise.
such is the ignorance.
such is the human mind.
such frailty.
such is us.

you cant wait for things to come, and when they come, you miss the moments before they came.
tamade.
some people are never satisfied. with anything.